Prankster
by Frankenfrau
Summary: Professor Crane was always known as a serious man among the students of Gotham U. He was after all, among the best and brightest of his colleagues. Now, what is that thing pressed against the window and WHY does it have Professor Crane’s skin?


It was early morning at Gotham University, and the first hues of daylight were just barley peeking over the silhouettes of the smallest buildings and the natural haze of the city. With it, came the fresh new minds of the city. Eager to receive an education and make a name for themselves out in the world.

Now, if this was by diploma or gunshot is anybodies guess…

The former, of course, had their backpacks loaded and were already settled in their assigned class at Gotham U. Today was finals day, and everybody was very eager to get it over with. Even the Professors themselves had shown up early, just to get the matter at hand over and done.

Which brings us to this small little Biochemistry class in the nether back regions of the University. The Professor there, an elder gentlemen, ALWAYS arrived twenty or so minutes late. The reason why, was completely hypothetical. The students themselves have made up excuses ranging from bad car problems to bad gastric problems…

"I bet the dude's got in another fight with his old lady again!" jeered one student, a hotheaded lad by the name of Chad Baker.

"No no, Professor Bradley's wife died YEARS ago. I mean, the dudes like ninety err something, pushing on a hundred at least. There's no way a chick, no matter how tolerant, can stick with a dude for that long. Not unless she's a vegetable err something." Came the retort from small girl with an obvious speech impediment problem. Her name was Ashley Haggins, and she had a terrible reputation for leaving her notes at home and stealing someone else's…

"Please, the man obviously is taking his time to be prepared for his lecture later today. Everybody should be prepared when it comes to education, I would think you'd know that by now Ashley…" was the reply from small boy by the name of Edgar Pheebs. He was a small fellow, that had coke bottles for glasses and an overbite in desperate need of retainers. Incidentally enough, he was also the boy Ashley Haggins was stealing notes from…

"Mmff, mmf… mff." was the wisdom of knowledge given to group by the sleeping hooded figure. His name was Ted Kesley, but most students just called him "The Mumbler". He was the class renown snoozer that had a bad habit of dozing off in the middle of lectures or mundane assignments. So he was making sure he got an extra few minutes of shut eye before the big final for the day.

"Psst, you know what I think?" whispered a dark haired girl from the back corner of the class. "I think he's dead."

Simultaneously, the majority of the classroom turned it's attention to back of the room. The girl that had spoken was Jessica Finkles. Normally Jessica was the quiet girl of the classroom who didn't say much besides what time of day it was. Once in a blue moon though, Ms. Finkles would announce the most peculiar of queries or statements. Most of which the classroom paid no mind too…

"Oh, you always say that when he arrives twenty minutes late Jessica!" shouted a young man from the other side of the classroom. His facial features were currently hidden by a stack of textbooks and papermates that reached up just far cry of the ceiling. There was no telling who this individual was.

"Ya Jess, just cut it already ya hear?" whirled Ashley Haggins. "Yer always come up with the crrr-aziest ideas. It's because of all those freak books you must read, I bet!" Ashley ended her final sentence with a rather obnoxious SNAP from her bubble gum.

"No, really." Jessica said in a voice just audible of a dry whisper. "I bet he's dead. I mean, just think about it… It's the middle of winter, the man has no heater in his old Chevy of his, and didn't you say it yourself that he had no next of kin to talk to, Ashley? Who's to say something couldn't have of happened to him, it is Gotham city after all. Not exactly the nicest of places to live…" Jessica ended with a bit a shrink to her vocal chords. Going from almost audible to wavering silence.

"Ha!" cried a gentlemen from the desk kitty corner to Jessica's. He had a large jacket on, one that he used to cover the embarrassing tweed sweaters that his mother made him. "Next thing you're gonna say Jess, is that the old man's corpse got up by itself and is on its way here to teach us all a lesson." the young man said with much bravado "Why, I bet he's on his way here now, just seconds away from turning the door handle! What a load of b-"

Before the boy could even finish his indignant statement there was a high pitched squeal at the front center of the room. At first it was thought of as Ashley's Haggin's own chorus, but suddenly upon expectation…

"Chad, what in god's name are you-JESUS H. CHRIST, what in the HELL is THAT in the window?!" Came an outburst from the back of the room. All eye's were fully open and located to the front door entrance now. Even the ones of the snoozer Ted Kesley's, though nobody had the forethought at the time to figure out what color they were…

"Is-is that Professor Crane? The Psych Professor down the hall from here?" was a reply from one of the women in the back of the class. Her hand covering her mouth in a moment of aghast horror.

Indeed, what greeted the students of Biochemistry 101 in the small window of their door frame was a skewered view of the facial contours of a human man. It was as if Munch's Scream itself had been brought to life in form of a tall man with spectacles. Living, breathing, and pressed against a door frame…

For awhile the class remained in petrified silence for a good five or so minutes, but it felt like a decade to them. It wasn't until their own Professor Bradley shuffled in with his trusty cane in hand did they pay heed to what was going on in their surroundings.

"Well class, how are you all today?" Was the elderly Professor Bradley's first comment. "I saw that my good colleague Professor Crane had come here to check on you all today while I was gone. Had a terrible time with the car you see… Now, wasn't that just all too kind of him?

By now the tall lank man known as Professor Crane was down the hall already, on his way to his own students and pupils. He had a certain stride to his step, that spoke loudly of self-gratification. Now if only he didn't have a piece of toilet paper stuck to his heel, would this moment be one of the best for him…


End file.
